"EXCUSE ME"

Setting: A cafe.

"Excuse me. Excuse me. You mind if I sit here with you?" 

*iPod ear buds removed* "Uh.  Uh." *Looking inwardly horrified* 


"You mean right here with me?"

"Well, yeah. There's nowhere else to sit." *Indicates*

"Well, looks like they're about to leave." *Indicates*

*Woman at other table indicates, man approaches table, another man approaches soon-to-be-left table and stakes claim on said table* 

"We've been waiting for this table." 

*"Excuse me" walks over to a different open table that had been available all along*

DOWNER COUPLE VS. UPPER COUPLE

There was the downer couple, and the upper couple. A member of each couple drank coffee every day. The upper couple needs meth to not feel like a downer couple. The downer couple had to stop drinking coffee because it began to feel like meth as it built up in their bodies over time.

FILE UNDER FAVORITE HEADLINES:

"Victoria Principal To Go Into Space.

LIST OF MEGASTARS WHO DRESS(ED) INTERGALACTICALLY, OR AT LEAST HAD SPACE/SPACESHIP THEMES IN ALBUM ART OR STAGE SHOW:

1. David Bowie

2. Grace Jones

3. The Isley Brothers

3. Earth, WInd, and Fire

4. Michael Jackson

5. Lady Gaga

6. DEVO

7. The Knife

8. ?